Love is Blind
by Silverwolf1212
Summary: Well, welcome to Hill Wood High, the true home of Blind Love. When Cupid pays Phoebe and Gerald a visit on Valentine's day, the couple goes on a mission to hook up their blind and lovestruck best friends.
1. Welcome to Hill Wood High

**LOVE IS BLIND: _REVISED_**

Summary: It's the senior year for Arnold and the gang, and numerous changes have occurred. Arnold, Gerald, Helga and Phoebe are the best of friends. Helga's gorgeous and Arnold's a hunk. Lila is a whore, and everyone else is just peachy. When Valentines Day arrives, Cupid pays a visit to Gerald and Phoebe. With the help of two new friends, the couple goes on a mission to hook up their two blind and love-struck best friends.

Author's note: After re-reading my reviews, I have taken the time to look at what I have written. All I have to say is that I'm writing garbage! Absolute garbage! Although Love is Blind will not be deleted, it will be edited to the best of my ability.

Disclaimer- It's obvious, that I do not own Hey Arnold.

Love is Blind

Chapter 1:

Today's weather was not exactly what you'd consider marvelous. Thunder roared across the pitch-black sky, and the pouring rain continued to drum a beat against the school's windows. An elderly man, obviously the teacher, drabbled on and on in his nasally voice.

Oh, how the students of Hill Wood High disgusted him. Mr. Blue, with his nasally monotone voice, noticeably fake dark brown toupee, and wrinkled, striped, navy blue suit, hated the little brats he was assigned to teach. The children of **Satan**, he called them. However, he never even considered, the possibility that the students of Hill Wood High loathed him with the same amount of passion, as he hated them. With no spouse, children, lack of hair, and good sense of style, the faculty considered him the bitter, dried up prune, while the students knew him as the old stuck up prick. Actually, it was Helga G. Pataki, who created his reputation as the "old stuck up prick."

"_Crimeny, shut up! Please, just shut up. Its not as if anyone's listening to your nasally voice, anyway_." thought the sarcastic blonde.

Helga G. Pataki stifled a yawn and lightly banged her head against the desk, wishing that she could bang her teacher's head against the bricked wall. It was obvious, that Mr. Blue and her did not have the greatest relationship. He considered Helga, a disrespectful hooligan with the mouth of a sailor. He'd always let her know it, too.

Mr. Blue, sensing a disturbance, fixed his steely gray eyes at the blonde, who really didn't give a rat's ass.

Helga, a natural born, leader, rebel, and fighter, knew when a confrontation would occur. However, it was Helga, who usually instigated them.

" _Go on, bucko, I dare you" _smirkedHelga, her eyes twinkling with amusement.

She noticed his lips pursed in a firm line. He was reaching his breaking point, and Helga G. Pataki was enjoying it.

" _5, 4, 3, 2, 1_…"

"Ms. Pataki?" barked his nasally voice. " Is my lesson so boring, that you'd rather bang your head against your desk?"

_Bingo, _she thought.

"_No, you asshole. It's the greatest thing since sliced bread."_

Plastering a cheeky grin on her gorgeous face, she answered his question, with three small words. " No shit, Sherlock."

Rage and humiliation symbolized the redness of his face. Looking closely, you could witness a vain throbbing by his neck. Oh, God! Helga G. Pataki, a rebel, a fighter, a hero to her fourth period English, was in trouble.

" Ms. Pataki, would you care to repeat that? "

"Yes, I would be glad to," grinned Helga.

Mr. Blue raised a bushy gray eyebrow. " Well? Why aren't you?"

"Why aren't I what?" she smirked. Giggles could be heard from her classmates.

He was not amused. " Repeating your disgusting remark!"

_Disgusting, huh_?

" Mr. Blue, sir? I'm afraid, that I don't remember the so called "disgusting" remark I made."

The class snickered.

" Don't play games with me, Ms. Pataki!" he thundered.

" I'm not playing any games, Mr. Blue. I am merely pointing out, that I don't remember my answer to your question" Helga said coolly.

"_I'm too old for this,"_ he thought.

" Okay, very well, Ms. Pataki, you won for today. However, since you can't seem to remember much anything, you will submit a five-page paper, detailing the importance of manners."

He was surprised when he was met with a smirk and a devious glint in her eyes. Usually, when his punishments consisted of useless essays, Mr. Blue would be the prisoner of an acid tongue-lashing.

" _You forgot to tell me the date, Bucko. And he says I can't remember much? Asshole."_

" Do you find your behavior amusing, Ms. Pataki?"

" Not at all, sir."

Sending her his most frightening glare, he rubbed his temples, and muttered a goodbye to the class.

Fourth period English, was _finally_ over.

" Finally!" grumbled Helga, as she made her way to the cafeteria.

On her way there, she ran into her best friend, Phoebe Heyradahl.

"Hi, Helga!" she chirped. " Are you ready for lunch?"

"More ready then ever, Pheebs" said Helga.

They made an interesting pair. Both beautiful, both smart, both as close as sisters. However, their beauty was quite unique.

The two looked as entirely different as two people could. Phoebe dark and small and delicate, Helga powerful and blonde and strong.

As both girls arrived at the cafeteria, they spotted "their boys" by the school's vending machines.

Gerald Johansson was considered to be, one fine hunk of a man. Smooth caramel skin, piercing brown eyes, a delectable body, delicate wavy locks and reaching the height of 6' 2, he was an Adonis. Loved by the girls, admired by the boys, Gerald Johansson had it all.

But, he was nothing compared to Arnold, the "Golden Boy" of Hill Wood High. Luminous locks of cornflower hair, lily green eyes, powerful broad shoulders, a smile that could melt milk chocolate, and reaching the height of 6'1, Arnold was perfection. Adored by the girls, idolized by the boys, and respected by the teachers, Arnold was the man of Hill Wood High.

And as Helga G. Pataki watched her beloved press the buttons for a bag of pretzels, she couldn't stop the smile from creeping onto her face.

He was truly beautiful. But more then that, he was truly a kind and decent human being. Arnold was blessed with a heart; always a kind word and a charming smile. To Helga, he was a rare red rose in a garden of weeds.

Yet, Arnold was blind. He had no idea of the love she felt for him. Her love for Arnold was an everlasting love, a love that could only grow stronger, as each day passed.

Both turning around, it was then that Arnold and Gerald actually noticed Helga and Phoebe.

" Sup, Phoebe, Helga" greeted Gerald.

" Hey, Geraldo" nodded Helga.

" Hi, Gerald" smiled Phoebe, cheeks rosy.

Helga smirked. It was obvious that they both were into each other, both smiling, both blushing, both blind.

"_Common Pheebs, use that big brain of yours! Surely, even you can flirt," _she thought, her face holding a sign of annoyance.

Standing right next to her, she witnessed Arnold, featuring a similar facial expression.

" _Jeez, Gerald, and you say I need help with the ladies?_" he thought.

" Hey, **_lovebirds_**, how about you flirt later? I'm starving!" shouted Helga.

Both teens turned beet red.

" We weren't flirting, Helga" blushed Phoebe.

"Yeah, right" smirked Helga. " And I'm an alien spitting out nickels. Get real, Pheebs."

"Shut up, Helga" blushed Gerald.

"Hey, tall hair boy, why don't cha grow some balls and ask her out!" she taunted.

"Watch it, Helga," snarled Gerald.

"Or what, Geraldo?" she smirked.

Arnold, releasing a small chuckle, decided to end the argument before things got out of hand.

" Common, Helga. Your never gonna get a chance to eat if you keep on yelling at Gerald."

" Whatever, Arnoldo." Said Helga, stalking into the cafeteria.

Phoebe, still blushing, giggled and followed her in, leaving the two boys alone.

" Arnold, Arnold, Arnold my man, you're a bold kid. Who would've thought that out of all the girls in Hill Wood High, you'd choose Helga Pataki! Why, man? Why, Helga?"

" Because, Gerald, she's real. She'll speak her mind, she's intelligent, she's gorgeous, she's just perfection."

Gerald gagged. " Arnold, my man, you sound like one love sick puppy. I don't know about you, but I'm gonna go get some food. You coming?"

" Yeah, I'm coming" smiled Arnold, entering the cafeteria.

Both boys spotted the girls already sitting down, Phoebe munching on some food. Arnold noticed Helga greedily eyeing Phoebe's lunch.

" Helga, do you need some money for lunch?" asked Arnold.

Helga felt her face heat up. " That's okay, Arnold. I'll eat when I get home."

" You sure?"

" I'm positive, Arnold" she answered

" Are you really sure?" he persisted.

" I said I'm positive, football head. Sheesh, you have a hearing problem or something?" snapped Helga.

Arnold bit his tongue. As much as he'd love to tell Helga to go fly a kite, he didn't want to further ignite her fiery temper. When it came to personal confrontations, Helga's harsh words and feisty nature were her two main weapons.

Helga felt guilty. She didn't mean to snap at him. It was just part of her…charming personality. Her insecurity was covered up by her aggression. She knew that Arnold was popular, especially with the ladies. And truthfully, Helga G. Pataki was scared shitless.

No matter how kind or gentle he was, Helga didn't want to give her heart to Arnold, just so he could stomp on it. So, alas, her tough exterior was her armor from heartbreak. However, that didn't mean she had to be rude.

"Thanks anyway, Arnold" she smiled.

Arnold couldn't help but smile in return. To him, Helga was the most gorgeous girl he'd ever laid eyes on.

Helga G. Pataki had a beautiful body and a striking face. Her eyes were a dreamy turquoise, her nose straight, her lips were full, and considered totally kissable, hiding the biggest, the best, and the whitest smile in Hill Wood High.

Her hair was blond and long and silky. Her long blond tresses were what every high school boy fantasized about. Straight to the point, Helga G. Pataki was lovely. Even more then lovely, she was mesmerizing.

Like a true schmuck, he continued to stare at her, devoid of any thoughts. Helga, noticing his dreamy facial expression, was not amused.

" Hey, foot ball head, what the heck's your problem? Crimeny, Arnold, you have enough drool to flood the entire cafeteria!"

His face was on fire. He didn't know whether it was the amused stares coming from Gerald and Phoebe or the fact that Helga G. Pataki, the girl who stole his heart, was looking at him as if he was the lowest of the low.

" Sorry, Helga" he apologized.

" Ah, forget about it, football head" she breezed, turning to talk to Phoebe, on her right.

He released a sigh of relief. Helga must've been extremely happy today. He was actually the victor of Helga's fiery temper.

Gerald must've thought the same thing. " Damn, Arnold, I'm surprised you're still next to me. Usually, she'd burn you with her big mouth."

" I'm surprised too," he agreed. " I guess she's having a good day."

Gerald laughed. " Please, Arnold, my man, Helga G. Pataki never has good days."

" Common, Gerald, she's been our friend since the 6th grade. Why don't cha give her a break?"

" All right, all right. I'll give her a break." He smiled a toothy smile. " You know, even I have to admit that Helga's hot. She's not gonna stay single forever. Like Helga said, " Why don't cha grow a pair of balls and ask her out?"

" Tell you what, Gerald, maybe when you develop the brains to figure out that Phoebe likes you, I'll ask Helga out. In the mean time, you shouldn't be lecturing me on how to pick up girls. Especially, when you can't even follow your own advice."

Well, that certainly struck a nerve. " Thanks, man. Why'd you have to say that? You know that I'd do anything for that girl! Unlike other guys, I actually care about her, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna use those corny pick up lines to guilt her into going on a date with me. Besides, she doesn't like me like that."

Arnold felt a bit guilty. " Look, Gerald, you're a nice guy. You're smart, funny, and a really great person. Trust me, we've known Phoebe, since she was three. And trust me, I know she likes you. You just need a bit more confidence to realize that."

" Thanks, man" smiled Gerald, as both friends did their secret handshake.

Helga, watching out of the corners of her eyes, snickered. " _Finally, the old football head convinced Geraldo to grow some balls. Hallelujah!"_

" What's so funny, Helga?" asked Phoebe.

" Nothing, Pheebs. Just laughing at those two losers."

Phoebe giggled. " Oh, Helga, you're bad."

" I know" she smirked.

Phoebe shook her head playfully. " Common, Helga, they're not losers. Why don't cha give them a break?"

" Jeez, Pheebs, no need to get so defensive" she smirked. " Is tall hair boy on your mind?"

Phoebe sighed. " Oh, Helga, he doesn't even know I exist."

Helga felt the sudden urge to roll her eyes. " Puh-lease, Phoebe, if you can tell the difference between…what were those two cells we learned in biology?"

" Prokaryotic and Eukaryotic cells" Phoebe informed.

" Yeah, yeah, whatever. Anyway, if you can tell the difference between those two cells, then surely you can tell that tall hair boy's interested in you. Common, Pheebs, either open your eyes, or get contacts."

Phoebe shrugged. " Helga, I wanna say that he likes me. I really do, but they're so many pretty girls in our school…and I'm so…plain."

Helga looked at her as if she'd grown three heads. " Phoebe, what the hell are you smoking? Why would you want to look like some bimbo with fake cantaloupe boobs? Please, you're gorgeous. Besides, your bra size is even bigger than those girl's IQ's. They're complete morons, Phoebe. You have a better chance of having an intelligent conversation with the wall than with them."

" Is that so? Helga, just because you're so ugly, doesn't mean you should be bad-mouthing us gorgeous gals."

_Oh, Man! How she hated that voice!_

" Well, Lila, I don't understand how you're included in this conversation. Like you said so yourself, I shouldn't be bad mouthing those gorgeous girls."

Phoebe stifled a giggle. Lila was not amused. " You know, Helga, you'd be less ugly if you'd just lose some pounds and take off that scary mask. Halloween hasn't arrived yet."

_Then why is the wicked with of the west standing before my very own eyes?_

" Really, Lila, as if you're one to talk. Do you really think all that make up can cover your hideous face? I sure don't."

Lila smirked, and placed her hands on her bony hips. " My face is not hideous, Pataki. Why else why would I be sought after by so many boys?"

Helga wanted to laugh. This girl actually thought she was hot shit? Yeah, right, in her head.

Lila was five feet three inches tall, too thin and arrogant. She had very long chestnut curls, seaweed green eyes, and a smile that seduced many boys. She also had fake tits, thanks to some cheap plastic surgeon recommended by one of her friends. She wore a too short black micro mini skirt, a polyester red midriff, and her feet were enhanced with stiletto heels, adding her height another five inches. Her face was poorly made up, one side orange, one side brown. Her china blue eye shadow, clashed horribly with her slutty pink lipstick.

" Well, it could be the fact that you sleep with anything that moves" informed Helga.

Phoebe, amused by Helga's directness, released a huge amount of giggles. This caused the attention of Arnold and Gerald.

" Oh, great! Ms. Slut of the year's arrived," whispered Gerald.

" Gerald, just because she's promiscuous, doesn't mean you have the right to call her names."

" Please, man, we don't need rights. The truth is the truth," argued Gerald.

Arnold couldn't help but agree. He remembered how lovely she'd once been, so vibrant, so full of life. And now, sad as it was, she was nothing but a poorly dressed hooker.

" _At least she's comfortable in her own skin,"_ thought Arnold.

Like a mind reader, Gerald, nodded.

Lila fixed her seaweed green eyes on Arnold. " _Yummy_" she thought. With that, she sauntered up to him, hips moving, and cleavage shown.

" Hiya, Arnold" she cooed.

" Uh…hi, Lila" he offered.

Helga wanted to gag. " _Why's he acting so nice?"_

Lila smiled coyly." Oh, Arnold, whatdya say, you and me go sit somewhere else, have ourselves a nice…talk."

Gerald rolled his eyes. Helga crushed Phoebe's empty Pepsi can. Boy, was she pissed. Phoebe glanced at her in concern. Helga looked ready to kill.

Arnold looked repulsed. It wasn't even the fact that he was repulsed, her musk was smothering him, and she was **_too_** close for comfort.

" No thanks, Lila. I'm fine right here."

Lila pouted. She was not used to being turned down. " Oh, but Arnold, it would be ever so nice if you'd come sit with me. We could catch up, talk about the good old days."

_That's it, thought Helga._

" Hey, Ms. Slutface, can't you see that he doesn't wanna talk? Why don't cha go sleep with the school's janitor and leave him alone!"

Gerald had a Cheshire grin plastered on his face. Phoebe looked appalled. Arnold tried not to laugh. Lila was flabbergasted.

" How dare you! I am not a hooker! Who the hell do you think you are, talking to me like that?" yelled Lila, standing up.

Helga too rose from her seat. " Puh-lease, Lila, save the drama for your boy toys. You think you're such hot shit? Yeah, right, when hell freezes over."

She then paused. " Twice" she added, smirking.

Gerald pounded fists with Sid behind him. " Damn, Lila scored a beat down!"

" You got that right," said Sid. "And about time, too."

Lila's face turned three shades of red, orange, and pink. And without warning, like a panther, she lunged at Helga. Helga, prepared for her attack, standing in a fighting stance mode, managed to sock her in the gut.

Lila, clutching her stomach, moaned in pain. " You fuckin bitch!" she wheezed. " You'll pay for that."

Helga smirked. " Okay. How much? Is a dollar enough? I mean, after all, I'm sure you charge less for the people you sleep with."

Arnold and Gerald laughed. Phoebe looked amused. " _Wow, Helga, you certainly are direct."_

Lila had the grace to blush. " At least I'm into boys, Pataki."

Helga laughed; and she laughed loudly, catching the attention of the entire cafeteria.

_Perfect, she thought, making sure the entire cafeteria was listening._

" Crimeny, if you're still a virgin, people automatically assume that you're a dyke?" she laughed.

The entire cafeteria roared with laughter. Out of the corner of her eye, she witnessed Arnold smile a sheepish grin, pounding fists with Gerald.

Helga did a mental victory cheer. "_Hah! Take that Ms. Slutface."_

With all the dignity she could muster, Lila, her head held high, excited the cafeteria, her stiletto heels clicking behind her.

The entire cafeteria, amused at the confrontation that took place between Helga and Lila, whispered excitedly. Also, Helga, received many praises at her table

" You sure showed her, Helga," praised Phoebe.

" Nah" grinned Helga.

" Aw, common, Helga, you know you did" laughed Gerald.

" Yeah, I guess I did" smiled Helga.

" Did you really have to hit her?" asked Arnold, frowning slightly.

Helga raised a delicate eyebrow. " Well, aren't you concerned? In case you haven't noticed, Arnoldo, she lunged at me first; and there's no way in hell I'd let Lila have the first punch. No way in hell!"

Arnold raised his hands in self-defense. " Helga, I'm not saying that she didn't deserve it, I'm just saying that violence's not always the answer. The last thing you need is to get suspended, Helga."

Phoebe had to agree. " Arnold's right, Helga. You don't need to get suspended. Just ignore her. She only wants to get you in trouble; she's not worth it."

Helga fumed. " Sheesh, Pheebs, you've been talking to football head too much."

Arnold glared at her. " You know, Helga, we're the only friends you have. We care about you. We care enough about you to make sure that you don't get into trouble. I don't appreciate you taking out your anger on Phoebe and I. We're just looking out for you."

Helga's turquoise eyes burned in anger. " I can take care of myself, Arnold. I've done so since I could walk. I don't need anyone to look out for me! Especially you!"

" I don't see what's the problem" argued Gerald, hoping to vanish Helga's anger. " She thinks she's all that, and she says things that cause other people to kick her ass. It's her fault. Good for you, that's all I can say, Helga."

" Thanks, tall hair boy" said Helga warmly, glad that someone was on her side. " I guess you do have a set of balls, after all."

" I always did, Helga" Gerald said coolly.

Phoebe blushed. " Umm…can we please change the subject?"

Gerald turned red. Arnold and Helga laughed.

" We don't have time to" chuckled Arnold, standing up. " It's time for Biology."

" Damn" whined Gerald, throwing his trash in the garbage. " An hour is not enough time for lunch?"

" Suck it up and stop whining, tall hair boy," yawned Helga. " You'll need your strength for Biology."

" Why is that?" asked Gerald.

" Because, today's a new lab," informed Phoebe.

" Oh, shit," groaned Gerald. " Wonderful, nothing like a lab on a rainy Monday morning."

" Actually, Gerald, it's the afternoon" giggled Phoebe.

" Hah! What a moron!" laughed Helga, exciting the cafeteria with Phoebe, leaving Arnold and Gerald by themselves.

Gerald was a tomato red. " Damn, no wonder she never notices me. Why would a smart girl notice an idiot like me?"

" You're not an idiot, Gerald," said Arnold. " So you made a mistake, big deal. We all make mistakes. And Phoebe does notice you. I'm telling you, Gerald, she really likes you."

" Yeah, right, man. Why would she like a loser like me? She's so beautiful and smart and perfect. She needs someone like her."

" Gerald, don't you think if that's what Phoebe wanted, she would've found someone like that?"

Gerald shrugged. " Maybe."

Arnold groaned in frustration. " Common, Gerald, you're my best friend, and a really good guy. Now, trust me, Phoebe LIKES you. She really likes you."

" How do you know?" asked Gerald.

" Because, she just does. Gerald, it's hard to explain; I just know she does."

Gerald managed to smile a small smile. " All right, thanks man."

" No problem, Gerald" smiled Arnold, holding to cafeteria door.

Exciting the cafeteria, they managed to catch up with Helga.

" What took you guys so long?" asked Helga.

" None of your business" said Gerald coolly.

Helga just shrugged.

" Where's Phoebe?" asked Arnold.

Helga pointed to a corner on their right. " Lorenzo said he wanted to talk to her. Bet the rich boy wants to take her to the dance."

Gerald was blazing. " Over my dead body" he murmured.

Helga, hearing what he said, smirked. " Talk is cheap, Geraldo. You need action. Anyway, obviously, you like my best friend, right?"

" Yeah, so what?" blushed Gerald.

Helga sighed. " So, you moron, take action and ask my best friend to the Valentine's dance. Simple as that; unless, you want Lorenzo to ask her first?"

Saying what she needed to say, Helga entered Biology, Arnold right behind her.

Gerald remained rooted to the spot, for god knows how long. His eyes never left Lorenzo, who was dangerously close too Phoebe.

" _If he touches her in any way, I'll kick his ass."_

However, there was no need for violence. Phoebe, excusing herself from Lorenzo, ran into biology.

Lorenzo, a soft smirk plastered onto his face, raised knowing eyebrows.

Gerald sent him a look saying: **Well, why don't cha do something about it.**

Deciding that a guy like Lorenzo wasn't worth it, he walked into Biology, just in time for the bell to ring.

Arnold flinched at the look on Gerald's face. He looked pure bastard, and Arnold was smart enough not to ask questions. Besides, even if he wanted to, Ms. Jones already entered the classroom.

" _Great_" he thought. " _Welcome, to another of Hill Wood High_."

Author's Note: Well, I hope the revision was better than the previous one. I wish all you guys on fan fiction, a Happy New Year. Please, review my story. Besides, I could use some advice and suggestions.


	2. Shall we Dance?

Author's Note: I'm sorry to everyone who's reading my story. School's been so busy. Well, now that it's over, I can actually relax and write some fan-fiction. Well…enjoy!

Love is Blind

Chapter 2: Shall we dance?

"_Yeah_" thought Arnold, as his biology teacher, Ms. Jones, rambled on and on about the activation energy a catalyst monitors. " _Welcome to another boring day of Hill wood Hig_h."

It had not stopped raining. His teacher had not stopped talking. Phoebe had not stopped paying attention to Ms. Jones. Gerald had not stopped glaring at Lorenzo. Harold had not stopped farting. Sid had not stopped snoring. Nadine had not stopped sighing. Rhonda had not stopped brushing her hair. Stinky had not stopped picking his nose. Eugene had not stopped smiling. Lila had not stopped winking at him and Helga had not stopped doodling.

It was the same thing every day. Nothing had changed. Sure, the former fourth grade class of P.S. 118 grew older; but their personalities we're still the same. Except for Lila's, of course. Arnold had no clue as to when she became such a harlot; and he didn't want to find out.

" _Just ignore her. Ignore her and she will eventually stop bothering you_," thought Arnold.

With that, he proceeded to pay attention to what Ms. Jones was saying. Yet, there was not much to pay attention to. He just realized that his classmates were already running out the door to their next classes.

" Hey, football-head! Get your butt up! We're going to be late for gym!" yelled Helga.

Arnold sighed. Helga definitely didn't change. She was just as pushy as she was seven years ago.

"Sorry, Helga. I was just thinking."

" Well think later, Arnold," snarled Helga. " I'm not going to have Puffins give me detention for your reminiscing."

" Chill out, Helga, baby" teased Gerald, walking next to Phoebe. " You know that Puffins has a little crush on you. He _loves _you too much to give you detention."

"Now you just stop it, Gerald," scolded Phoebe. " You shouldn't be making fun of our gym teacher. Especially because he's man enough to cry in public."

"Ha! That's funny, Phoebe" laughed Helga, finally reaching the girls locker room.

Phoebe simply sighed and went inside the locker room. Helga smirked, gave the boys a little salute and went inside as well.

The boys shrugged and went inside their own locker room.

" Howdy, Y'all" greeted Stinky, in his country accent. Despite living in the city for almost 8 years, he was still a country boy at heart.

"Yo, Stinky" said Gerald.

"How's it going, Stinky?" asked Arnold, taking of his clothes and replacing it with his P.E. uniform.

"I'd say it's going' mighty fine good. On a counting that there's a lot of home work and that that Puffin's guy is kind of a wuss."

Arnold and Gerald laughed.

" Well, we'll meet you outside, Stinky" said Arnold.

" Okie Dookie" shrugged Stinky.

" See ya soon, man" called Gerald.

Both boys left the locker rooms and headed to the doors of the gym. Once they were inside, they headed straight to the bleachers. Phoebe and Helga were already sitting down, chatting quietly.

Helga's P.O.V.

I noticed football head and tall hair boy make their way towards us. Hip Hip Horary

" Oh, Helga" sighed Phoebe. " I just don't know what to do."

" _What the hell is she talking about?"_

" What do you mean, Pheebs?" I asked, trying not to sigh of boredom.

" Well" I saw her fidget. " Lorenzo asked me to Friday's Valentine Dance."

" And that's a bad thing?" I retorted, raising an eyebrow.

" Yes! I wanted Gerald to ask me! Not Lorenzo."

I had the major urge to roll my eyes. Sure, tall hair boy likes her; but even I have more balls than he does. And that's saying something.

" Phoebe, common. Tall hair boy's too much of a sissy to ask you out" I stated.

" So what should I do, Helga?" she whimpered.

This time I did roll my eyes. " Look, Pheebs, if you want him so much, why don't you just ask him to the dance?"

My best friend looked at me as if I had a tail growing out of my ass. " I can't ask Gerald!"

" _What's the point of asking for my advice if you don't even listen to me"_ I thought to myself. " And why the hell not?"

" Because it's not customary for a girl to ask a boy to a dance! It's just not!" she whined.

I released a roar of laughter. " Jesus, H. Christ, Phoebe! This is the 21st century. Girls ask guys out all the time."

I saw a devious twinkle in her eyes, displaying mischief and surprise. "_Oh, Shit" _I thought.

"Yes, Pheebs?" I inquired, smirking.

" How about a little bet between best friends?" she asked, holding a smirk of her own.

" Depends what the bet is?" I replied coolly.

" I, Phoebe Heyradahl, your best friend, bet that Arnold's going to ask you to the dance after school"

Well, isn't this just peachy, I had to have the grace to blush.

" And I, Helga G. Pataki, your best friend, bet that tall hair boy will ask you to the dance tomorrow at lunch and that he will ask you out after the dance."

" All right" she grinned. " And if you lose?"

I smirked. " Oh, I won't. Hypothetically, though, I'll…go to the dance with the first boy who asks me."

My best friend had the audacity to smirk. " Either way, you'll be going with Arnold."

" Trust me, I won't."

I noticed football head and tall hair boy coming. " Quickly, Pheebs, the guys are coming. State your end of the bargain so we can shake on it."

" All right. If I lose, I'll do your math homework for a week."

I pondered that for a moment. " Kay, deal" I smiled, pounding fists with Phoebe in the shape of a shadow bunny.

" What happens if we both lose?" asked Phoebe.

" Then the bet is dropped." I shrugged.

" Deal" Phoebe giggled. " As if I have enough time to do your homework!"

Arnold's P.O.V.

" Do whose homework?" asked Gerald, sitting next to Phoebe, as I took a seat next to Helga.

" Oh, no one's" chirped Phoebe," I was just telling Helga about a movie I was watching with my mother on the life time channel; while I was doing my homework."

" O…Kay" shrugged Gerald.

" Ready for gym?" asked Arnold.

" Oh, yeah. Nothing like Puffins and his perverted ness to wake up a girl" sighed Helga.

"Helga" laughed Arnold. " Our gym teacher is not a pervert."

" Then why the hell are the god damn uniforms so short!" she shouted.

"_As if I hadn't noticed myself," _I thought blushing. " _Sheesh, Helga, do you have any idea what you can do to a man?"_

" They're not that short" I grinned, a slight blush on my face.

" Speak for yourself, bucko. You're not the gender whose assess are displayed around the gym."

" I personally like the uniforms" smirked Gerald, wiggling his eyebrows.

A blush sustained Phoebe's face. " And why is that, Gerald?" she frowned.

"Why, Phoebe, baby, it seems to be quite fitting and comfortable."

I couldn't help but release a chuckle. It was just that funny.

" What are you chuckling at you football headed little geek? I'm dying to know. I'd like to enjoy a good joke as much as the next fat person!" snarled Helga.

" Hey!" yelled Harold, over hearing her.

He was graciously awarded with a small smirk, courtesy of Helga.

As much as I'd have liked to tell Helga to go fly a kite, at that moment, I was un-able to, as Mr. Puffins entered the gym and blew his shrill whistle.

" Good afternoon, class" he smiled.

" Good afternoon, Mr. Puffins" groaned the class.

I couldn't help but snigger at our gym teacher. I almost died when I heard Helga mutter, " He needs to get laxatives."

" Well, class, today is the start of a new sport. Can anyone predict what we shall be playing?"

I saw Sid tentatively raise his hand in the air. " Basketball?"

" Nope" smirked Puffins.

" Whiffle ball?" hoped Stinky.

"Nope."

" You sitting on your ass while we're forced to run laps?" said a facetious Helga.

" No, my dear" sniffed Mr. Puffins. " We shall be starting a unit filled with passion and grace!"

" _Okay, the guy's gone off the rocker_" I thought to myself.

Mr. Puffins looked proud that no student was able to figure out the sport he came up with.

" Class" he spoke. " The sport we shall be doing is ball room dancing."

His words caused many reactions among the students. Almost all the girls squealed in delight.

" This is so much better than getting sweaty and breaking nails" I heard Rhonda whisper to Nadine.

" Finally," beamed Sheena. " A sport without the use of violence."

Helga was the only girl whose face became pale. " That's not a sport!" shouted Helga.

" Really? Then could you kindly tell me what it is, my dear?" questioned Puffins, his bottom lip quivering.

" Oh, no" I heard Gerald whisper to Phoebe. " He's going to start crying again."

I couldn't help but grimace. As sad as it was, our gym teacher was extremely bi-polar. He could not take any form of criticism. When he was criticized, he would burst into tears and force us to run laps as punishment. Yes. His name is Mr. Puffins, but we called him Mrs. Creampuff, courtesy of Helga and her sarcasm.

" _Crap_" I thought. " _Ignore him, Helga. He's not worth running fifty laps_."

The look on Helga's face was murderous. If there one thing about Helga; it's that she hated to be taunted.

" What it is," growled Helga. " Is a bunch of bullshit created by those such as yourself, who use this as an excuse to sit back and enjoy the show while the girls shake their Asses!"

The entire class was flabbergasted. Mr. Puffins was just speechless.

" I…I…. I never!" he stuttered. " How dare you, Ms. Pataki!"

I tried my hardest not to chuckle when Helga scratched her head with her middle finger. The look on Puffins face was priceless.

" Damn" whispered Gerald. " Creampuff's got served."

Hearing what he said, Sid, Stinky, and Harold burst out in full-blown laughter.

" Ha! What a loser" laughed Sid.

" Yeah" laughed Stinky. " He sure is."

" Awww!" taunted Harold. " Does the wittle baby wanna cry to his mama? Ahahaha!"

Mr. Puffins looked like he was on the verge of tears. " Detention Mr. Peterson, Berman! Gifaldi!"

" Hey!" yelled Harold. " Why doesn't Helga have detention?"

" I believe that this is none of your concern" sniffed Puffins, rubbing a stray tear from his face.

" _What a sissy?"_ I thought to myself. "_ Unbelievable. I'm nice to every teacher except for him. There's just something about him that makes my skin crawl."_

" As for you Ms. Pataki" smirked Puffins. " You shall have the privilege of being my partner for the first dance."

I wasn't the only one who noticed Helga's face turn ash white.

" Poor Helga" whispered Sheena. " Oh, poor, poor, Helga."

" It's all right, Helga," whispered Phoebe. " It'll be over soon, and at least you won't receive detention"

" No way!" shouted Helga. " I am not dancing with you!"

" Do you want to fail my class, Ms. Pataki?" he smirked.

" Grrr….fine! I'll be your stupid dance partner!" she growled.

" How wonderful. Just watch your language, Ms. Pataki."

" _Arrogant Bastard_" thought Helga.

" Now, class" started Mr. Puffins. " Dance is a symbol of grace, expression, art, and passion. There are many different types of dance. Ballroom dance, ballet, belly dancing, the cachucha, the can-can foxtrot, hula, hussle, hora, limbo, Macarena, rumba, rain dance, polka, salsa, samba, shuffle, the slow dance, tap dancing, waltz, and so much more."

" Wow" sighed Rhonda. " This is so romantic."

The boys, including I, all rolled their eyes.

" Now" smiled Puffins. " Step up, Ms. Pataki."

" I coming, I'm coming," she grumbled, standing next to him.

" As I was saying," said Puffins. " Our new unit is about the wonders and artistic expression of dance. What does this mean you're wondering? Well, it means a new project!"

"Awwww!" groaned Harold. " I don't want to!"

" Oh, just shut up and suck it up, pink boy" yelled Helga.

" You shut up, Helga!" he yelled. " Or I'm gonna pound you!"

" I'd like to see you try, pink boy! If you couldn't beat me in the 4th grade, then what the hell makes you think you can beat me now?"

" Helga, my flower, please shush," he wailed. " The bell rings in two minutes and we won't have enough time to dance!"

" _Good"_ I thought. _" I sure as hell don't want you touching her. Wait a minute, flower? What the hell is your problem, you sick and twisted crone?"_

End of Arnold's P.O.V.

Alas, Puffin's cries were unheard. For, Helga and Harold continued to bicker.

" Buzz off, Madame Fortress Mommy!" yelled Harold

" What's wrong, geek bait? Can't come up with anymore names?" taunted Helga.

Harold would've said something else; but the bell already rang. Gym was always the last class of the day; and school was finally over.

" That's enough!" cried Puffins. " Oh, you both ruined my first lesson!"

" As if I give crap," muttered Helga.

" No matter" said Puffins. " We shall continue the lesson tomorrow and you'll all shall find out about your partners for our new project. I'll see you three boys in detention."

With that, the class proceeded to their locker rooms.

" Oh, and Ms. Pataki" he called.

Helga turned around.

" I can't wait for our dance tomorrow."

Helga growled and ran up to Phoebe.

" Are you all right, Helga?" asked Phoebe, as they reached their locker rooms." You were extremely pale."

" I'm fine, Pheebs" she said. " I just think this dance thing has nothing to do with physical education."

" Hmm…well, it is a bit different"

" Whatever" said Helga, putting her blue jeans on. " I just want to go home. It's been a long day."

Yes, that's true," sighed Phoebe. " Ready to go?"

" Yup" smiled Helga, both girls leaving the locker room.

Arnold and Gerald were already waiting outside. Their talking ceased as soon as the girls came out of the locker room.

" Hey" said Gerald. " Do you girls want to go to Slausens wit us?"

" I don't mind," said Phoebe, smiling shyly. " What about you, Helga?"

" It's too cold for ice cream" smirked Helga.

" Come anyway" smiled Arnold. " It'll be boring with out you."

" I'm so touched, Arnoldo" she smiled. " Ah, what the hell. They serve hot chocolate. Count me in!"

" Yay!" laughed Phoebe, hugging her best friend. "I'll have a girl to talk to"

" Pheebs, if I didn't know you, I'd say you were on drugs."

" Very funny, Helga" smiled Phoebe.

" Common already!" sighed Gerald. " You can gossip as soon as we're at Slausens."

" Touchy" smirked Helga. " What kind of stick's up your-"

" Let's go, Helga," said Arnold, grabbing her hand and leading her outside.

Phoebe just stood their speechless. " O…kay."

" Shall we, milady?" smirked Gerald.

" We shall, milord" blushed Phoebe.

Mean while. " Hey, what's the big idea, football head? Why'd you drag me outside?"

" Sorry, Helga" chuckled Arnold. " I was trying to Phoebe and Gerald alone."

" Oh" she said simply.

" And" he blushed. " I…well… I kind of wanted to talk to you about something."

Helga's frown immediately turned into a look of worry. " Is everything all right?"

" Yeah" he said, still holding her hand. " Everything's fine."

" Thank goodness" she smiled. " So what do you want to talk about?"

It only took three words he said to make her heart beat like a drum.

" The Valentine's Dance."

A/N- Wow, I finally wrote a second chapter. Tell me what you guys think about it. Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. I thought I'd save some more for the next chapter. Cliffhangers are extremely entertaining.


	3. Are you on Drugs?

A/N- Hey, everyone! How's summer going? Good, I hope. Anyway, it was while eating a packet of M&M's and listening to Merry Frickin Christmas by Frickin A, that I received the inspiration to write Chapter three of Love is Blind. Enjoy!

Chapter 3: Are you on Drugs?

Helga's P.O.V.

" _Holy…shit_!" I thought, my face on fire. "_Is he serious? Is football head actually serious?"_

" Uh…Helga" said Arnold, his face laced with uncertainty.

" _No! Wait. Come down, Helga old girl. Who say's he was gonna ask you to the dance. Maybe he was thinking of taking someone else. Eureka! That has to be it. He wants to take some other girl to the dance and he needs some advice. Yes, that has to be it."_

" Helga" said Arnold, his voice going up a volume higher.

" _Wait just a freaking minute! Football head is going to take some other girl to the dance! Who's the little minx! I'll rip her perfect hair off her perfect head and shove it up her perfect ass! That'll teach her to mess with me. No one messes with Helga G. Pataki."_

" Helga!" he nearly yelled.

" _So, who could the little minx be? Rhonda? Nah! Too snobby. She'd probably go for Rex Smythe Higgins. Sheena? No way. She's like the female version worthy of the giant green giant. Nadine? Nope. She's dating Stinky. Shoot! Who else is there? Patty? Can't be. She told me that she's already going with pink boy. There's no way in hell it's Phoebe. I've seen the way she drools whenever tall hair boy passes by. Yuck! Ruth? Connie? Maria? Wait, they graduated last year. Duh! Um…wait! There's only one other girl Arnold knows. Lila! Oh, how I hate her! I'll kill her."_

" Helga!" he shouted.

" _Why would football head ask her to the dance? What does she have that I don't? If he thinks I'm easy like Lila and I'm going to hump everything that moves, then Arnold has another thing coming."_

" HELGA!" roared Arnold.

" What!" I heard myself shout back. " What the hell crawled up his ass and died?"

" I've been trying to get your attention for the last five minutes!" breathed Arnold. " I was worried. You were spacing out and I called your name at least five times! I heard you muttering things like rip, perfect, hair, and shove. Are you allright?"

" O-of course I'm all right, football head. So what if I was muttering. It's a free country. I can mutter anything I want."

I almost melted when he gave me a small smile. The kind only reserved for that one person.

" You're still the same old Helga" he smiled.

" So what if I am? Got a problem with that?" I smirked.

" No. On the contrary, I'm glad."

" R-really?" I stuttered?

" Yeah" he blushed. " I mean…you're unique. You don't care what others think of you. You'd never change yourself just to benefit others. You put yourself first, and…that's a quality I've always admired about you, Helga."

" Thanks, Arnold" I beamed. Oh, I was so thrilled. I could practically feel myself glowing. This was probably the most intense verbal moment I've ever had with Arnold. Even more intense then the time at Chez Paris, where we got stuck washing dishes and Arnold called me sophisticated.

"Phew. It's hot in here."

" Uh, Helga, we're outside, in the middle of February."

" I know. I'm just…hot. That's all. He he."

" O…kay" blinked Arnold.

" _Smooth"_ I thought. " _Now he probably thinks I'm a god damn psychopath_."

" Anyway" continued Arnold, now sporting a blush. " I wanted to talk to you about something."

" Oh, I'm sorry" I pretended. " What was that topic again?"

" The Valentine's Dance" he blushed.

" Oh" I said, my face a ripe tomato red. " _Oh! You idiot! The boy you loved since you were three is talking about the school's dance and all you can do is say "Oh." What the hell is wrong with you? You're acting like an idiotic buffoon! Snap out of it! Be cool. Be tough. Be Helga_!"

" What about the dance, Arnoldo?"

Either it was my imagination, or football head's blush deepened. Yeah. It definitely must be my imagination.

" Um…well…uh…you see…" he rambled.

" Spit it out, Arnold" I growled. " I am freezing. Pheebs and Geraldo are probably wondering where the hell we are."

" Sorry" he murmured.

" Whatever" I scoffed, making sure to remain like my cool, rough, and feisty self. " Just ask me what you want about the dance."

" Well…um…are you…going…with…anyone?"

I blinked. _" Right. Am I going with anyone? Hah! That's hilarious. Nice joke, football head. Just tell me who's the bimbo you want to take to the dance and maybe, maybe I'll give you some advice how to nail her_."

" Like you'll need any advice," I muttered.

" What did you say?" asked Arnold.

" Nothing" I blushed. " And no. I'm not going with anyone."

" Did anyone ask you?"

" Sure" I scoffed. " A bunch of geek baits and snobs with their noses shoved so far up their ass's that I'm surprised they can even breathe."

I beamed proudly when he released a roar of laughter. I'm just too funny. Actually, I was kind of telling the truth. I have been asked by plenty of boys, all of them being idiots, geeks, jerks, perverts, cheaters, and mama's boys. No thanks!

" Must've sucked for you," grinned Arnold.

" You have no idea, football head" I smiled.

I noticed he seemed more ease now, as if more confident with himself. I felt happy. I felt happy, despite the fact that the boy I loved more than anything in the world, was going to ask Ms. Bimbo of the century out.

" Anyway" he continued. " I'll just say this so we could go get some hot chocolate."

I nodded, waiting for him to continue.

" Helga G. Pataki."

" Yes?" I questioned.

" If you want to, would you like to go the dance with me?" he blushed.

I blinked. Once. Twice. Three times. Four times. Five times. Six times. What the hell!

" Are you drugs?" I blurted.

" Excuse me?" he frowned.

End of Helga's P.O.V.

Arnold's P.O.V.

" Drugs, football head! You know. Pot, cocaine, heroin, marijuana, ecstasy, any form of medication."

" Helga. I am not on drugs" I frowned. "_ Is she serious? She thinks I'm on drugs! It's more like that she's the one on drugs! Not me_!"

" Are you sure you're not on drugs?"

"Helga!" I nearly yelled. " This is completely ridiculous."

" What?"

" I'm serious," I said, my eyes low. " If you don't want to go with me, just say so."

" Arnold" she blushed.

" Great job" I thought to myself. " _You made a complete and total fool of yourself. Why would Helga Pataki want to go to the dance with you?"_

" Arnold" I heard her calling me.

" _Why didn't you just keep your mouth shut? This isn't just a "girl." This is Helga G. Pataki. The girl who bullied you for six years! The girl who stole your first kiss! The girl who you've been best friends with for seven years! The girl you care about more than anything else! And you blew it! Good job, Arnold. You just screwed up your friendship with Helga G. Pataki."_

" Hey, Football Head!" I heard her yell.

" What" I yelled back.

My face softened when I saw her wince at my harsh tone. I didn't mean to lash out. Although, can you blame a guy for lashing out, knowing that they're going to get rejected.

" Sorry, Helga" I murmured.

I saw her nod her head, her own way of accepting my apology. " Don't sweat it, Arnold," she whispered, her feet moving on her, causing her to stand very close to me.

I could see the azure sky blue in her eyes. I could even count every eyelash on her eye.

" H-helga" I stuttered, my face on fire. She was too close. Yet, she continued to surprise me. Coming even closer to me, she wrapped her arms around my neck, our bodies tightly pressed together.

" I'd love to, football" she whispered, her hot breath tickling my ear. Jesus H. Christ! Whatever the hell he has to do with this, this feeling felt simply incredible. I felt a sudden urge. The sudden urge to kiss her.

" _What's the worst she could do?_" I thought. " _Call me football head? Kiss me back? Kill me? Kill me? Kiss me? What the hell, screw it_!"

My eyes locked with her sky blue ones in a fierce gaze. Her usual fierce expression was replaced with a small, shy pout, her cherry red lips begging to be kissed. She looked cute, beautiful, scared, nervous, shocked, surprised.

I didn't care, though, as I slowly drew my lips towards hers. We were literally centimeters apart. We only needed one more moment. Her eyes were already closed, anticipating the kiss I would give her.

Only one more moment was needed. But, apparently, the gods hated me. They really, really, really hated me.

End of Arnold's P.O.V.

" Arnold, Helga! There you are!" yelled Phoebe, running up to them with Gerald.

She looked relieved to find her friends; but her creamy skin sported a red hue as soon as she noticed the intimate position that they were in. Helga's arms were tightly wrapped around Arnold's neck, her fingers in his hair. As for Arnold, his left hand was cupping Helga's cheek, his thumb still on her lower lip, while his right hand was possessively wrapped around her waist. Three words: Very, very, intimate.

" I'll be damned," whispered Gerald.

" Oh, man!" thought Phoebe. " Oh, Gomen! Gomen! Am I interrupting something?"

She almost fainted from fear when she saw Helga's eye twitch in annoyance.

" _I'm so dead_" she thought.

" _She's so dead_" Gerald thought.

" Umm…well, bye! Meet you at Slausens!" chirped Phoebe, dragging Gerald and quickly running across the street, heading to the ice cream shop.

It was just the two, all alone, still in the same position as before. Even though the moment was ruined, neither one of them made any means to separate.

" I'm sorry" blushed Arnold.

" Don't be" whispered Helga.

Both sixteen year olds blushed scarlet. Can you blame them? Having their best friends walk on them on a very intimate moment wasn't exactly a tea party in central park. It made Helga wonder if anyone else saw them together.

" Let's hope not," she thought.

" So, um, football, shall we catch up with Pheebs and tall hair boy and get some hot chocolate?" she asked nervously.

" Yeah. Common!" he blushed, grabbing her hand and dragging her downs the road to Slausens.

" _Oh lord! He's holding my hand_!" she blushed, as both reached Slausens.

Phoebe's P.O.V.

" I wonder where both of them are," I said to Gerald, as we sat across from one another in a booth.

" Who knows?" I heard him reply back. I then notice his face was laced with a cheeky grin. " Probably at the same place before we ran into them."

"Gerald!" I blushed. " _Oh! I didn't mean to interrupt them! It was accident. Oh, how humiliating_."

" Relax, Phoebe," he laughed. " They'll probably show up in a minute."

I hoped they did, but I hoped they didn't. Arnold's nice. He wouldn't hurt a fly, or a certain girl named Phoebe Heyerdahl. No, he wouldn't hurt her for ruining his and Helga's almost kiss; but Helga would. Oh no, not even. She'd do so much worse.

Helga was like a rose, I thought. Beautiful and vibrant far away, sharp and surrounded by thorns up close. Oh, those thorns were going to hurt her. In other worse, Phoebe Heyerdahl will suffer and die a painful bloody death at the hands of her best friend, Helga Geraldine Pataki.

" I'm too young to die," I murmured.

I then blushed red. Our waiter, whose nametag read Peter, bought over our drinks and stared at me as if I had horns sticking out of my head.

" Enjoy," he murmured, quickly scurrying away.

" _I could have sworn I heard him calling me a psychotic nut job_!" I thought to myself.

" You're not gonna die" smiled Gerald, taking a sip of his milkshake.

" Oh, yes I am! Helga's going to murder me!" I cried, as soon as he left. " I ruined her kiss with Arnold."

" Common, Phoebe" laughed Gerald. " It was just a kiss. She won't kill you."

" Just a kiss!" I cried in disbelief. " Gerald, a kiss means everything to a girl. It's the one thing a girl awaits their entire girlhood for."

" Oh, please" he smirked, sipping his milkshake. " You make it sound like it's the most important thing for a girl."

I groaned with frustration. " That's the point I've been trying to make!"

" Have you ever been kissed?"

" Excuse me!?" I stammered. " I can't believe he's asking me this! How dare he. That was none of his concern."

" I'll take that as a no" he smirked, taking a deep sip of his milkshake.

" That's none of your business!" I shouted, my face a sakura pink.

If I didn't have a major crush on him, I would've cursed at him in Japanese and beat him to a bloody pulp.

" This isn't an appropriate question a guy is supposed to ask a girl, Gerald."

" Don't worry, Pheebs" I heard a girl say behind Gerald. " Gerald has about as much testosterone as I do. Please, Phoebe. Even scientists couldn't classify him as a male."

I released a roar of laughter and disgust as Gerald spit his milkshake out of his mouth and onto Slausens window. Can you blame me? It's kind of disgusting.

" Shut up, Helga!" he yelled. " You're one to talk."

I had to release a giggle as Helga simply flashed him the birdie. She's too much.

" Oh, Helga" I laughed. " Don't ever change."

" I don't intend to" she said, as she slid into the booth next to me, and Arnold to Gerald.

" So you're not mad? I asked, biting my lower lip.

" About what?" she asked, managing to slip a wink.

" Oh, nothing" I smiled, relieved that I wasn't going to die.

" You all right there, Gerald?" I heard Arnold ask.

" Oh, yeah. Delighted that I almost chocked to death. Thanks so much, Helga" he growled.

" Anytime, tall hair boy" she smirked.

" I was being sarcastic," growled Gerald.

" Well, I wasn't" said Helga.

" All right, enough, guys," smiled Arnold. " Break it up."

" Spoil sport," teased Helga.

She was rewarded with a sheepish grin that she found totally sexy. " _Whoa. Too hot in here_!"

" Eww" scoffed Gerald. " Are you two…flirting?"

Both teens blushed a deep red. " O-of course not, tall hair boy. Why would I flirt with old football head?"

Arnold felt a pang in his chest as Helga said those words. She wanted to play vicious, then fine. He'll give her vicious.

" No, Gerald" said Arnold coolly. " Flirting is only for those who're dating or like each other."

But, I saw he immediately regretted his words when he saw Helga's smirk disappeared. I noticed her eyes widen in shock.

" _He doesn't like me_" she thought. Saying no more, she grabbed her school bag, and ran out of Slausens, completely forgetting about her hot chocolate that arrived at the table.

" Helga, wait!" he called out.

I don't think anyone except for me saw the stubborn tear that ran down her cheek, on her way out.

It was only when I saw that tear that I snapped. No one hurt my best friend and got away with it.

" Gerald" I whispered gravely. " Could you please make sure that she gets home safely? I have to have a talk with Arnold."

" Sure, Phoebe" he said, giving my arm a squeeze as he walked out.

I gave him a grateful smile and whispered "thank you," as I watched him run after Helga.

Then with strength I never knew I possessed, I lifted Arnold by the collar of his shirt and slammed him against the wall.

" Phoebe, I'm--"

" Shut. Up" I whispered. " Don't you dare, Arnold."

He immediately closed his mouth. " Now" I said. " You listen to me and you listen good. Are you listening?"

He nodded.

" Good" I snarled. " Now, I don't know what kind of stick you have shoved up your ass, and I truthfully don't care. But, when you make a move to hurt my best friend, I will hurt you the same way you hurt her.

" Phoebe, I know I shouldn't have--"

" I said for you to shut up and listen to me!" I growled. " I'm not finished yet."

Once again, he nodded, waiting for me to continue. " I know that Helga's abrasive. I know that Helga may say stuff that's rude and hurtful. But! Never, and I mean ever, does she mean it. She would never deliberately hurt the people she loves! And that includes you."

I know what you're probably thinking, " What's with all the drama?" Or " Whoa! Where's timid little Phoebe?" Well, like I said before, no one hurts my best friend and timid little Phoebe is off on a little vacation. I'm going to kick your ass Phoebe is in control for the time being.

" Anyway" I continued. " She may look tough, but you and I both now that she's a love bug. She doesn't have one mean bone in her body. She would never wish a person harm or spite! Even if she truly dislikes that person."

" I know," he whispered.

" Really?" I smirked. " Good. Then you know what you have to do. Apologize to my best friend. Apologize to her and mean it. And if she's not back to her old self in twenty-four hours, I will hunt you down and hurt you the same way you hurt her. And you don't want to know what I'll do. Just know this, I will kick that thing you call a dick so hard, you won't be able to pee straight for the rest of your life! Do you understand me?"

" Yeah" he whispered, looking pale.

" Good" I growled, releasing him. I slammed a ten on the table to cover the bill and headed out the door.

I didn't look back at Arnold's face and I certainly hear the two words he whispered.

" Thanks, Phoebe."

I knew this much though. Like Hammurabi's Code; an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. He'll break her heart; well screw friendship. I'll break his testicles! And I never, ever go back on my word.

A/N- Excuse my language. Phoebe makes me so proud. Please read and review. If you didn't like the chapter, please tell me. I'll be sure not to make these mistakes in the future. And thanks to everyone who reads fan fiction and Hey Arnold. Bye!


	4. A is for Asshole

A/N: Hey everyone. I apologize for not updating. With SAT prep classes and Calculus, life's not exactly a walk in the park.

Chapter Four: A is for Asshole

Arnold's POV

" _Shit"_ I thought to myself. " _What the hell is wrong with you? How could you say something like that to her?"_

" Because you're an asshole," I murmured.

And it's true. I am an asshole; a dumb, inconsiderate asshole that made Helga G. Pataki cry.

It was late at night, midnight to be precise; but I couldn't sleep. Every time I tried to close my eyes, I would receive a flash back of Helga crying. I hate feeling guilty. It's making me lose my well-deserved sleep.

So far, I had left ten messages on her cell phone and I called her house at least twenty seven times. Big Bob wasn't too happy about that.

" For the twenty seventh god damn time, Olga's busy. Quite calling my house you fucking crouton!"

Fucking Crouton? If the situation weren't so serious, I probably would have ended up laughing. Big Bob's called me plenty of names before, but fucking crouton is the icing on the cake.

Anyway, somehow, I've got to apologize to Helga. But how the hell am I supposed to do that when she won't even talk to me?

I could just apologize to her at school, but she'd have a better chance of avoiding me. I can't talk to her during class and even if I managed to catch up with her during lunch, she'd probably make up an excuse to try to avoid me.

" Damn it!" I raged.

Okay. Breathe in and out. Calm down. Damn it. I can't calm down. I need to clear my head. I need air.

Tip toeing quietly down the stairs, as to not wake any of the borders, I found myself in the living room. Making sure that no one was around, I quietly walked to the front door. I was out too, when a voice startled me.

" Hiya, short man. Don't you think that it's a bit too late to be going out?"

" Grandpa!" I jumped up in surprise. " What are you doing up?"

" Why, short man, it's never too late for a midnight snack " he chuckled. " But I take it you didn't come downstairs for something to eat?"

" No, grandpa. I didn't," I answered.

" What's the problem, Arnold?" asked Grandpa.

" It's complicated," I murmured.

" Now, Arnold. I may be old, but that doesn't mean I'm either blind or deaf. Now sit down, have some milk and cookies and tell your grandpa what's got you so down in the dumps."

I couldn't help but smile. At eighty-eight years old, my grandpa was still as healthy and stubborn as an ox.

" All right, grandpa" I smiled, sitting down.

" Now what's the problem, short man?"

" It's this girl," I said.

His eyes reflected a mischievous twinkle. " A girl, eh? Is it the one with the one eye brow, who always follows you around and plays jump rope across the house?"

" Grandpa" I laughed. " That was seven years ago. Helga's not like that anymore."

" Ah" he laughed. " So it's Big Bob Pataki's daughter. Whoopee. You've got yourself one tough gal, Arnold."

My face was as read as a tomato. I could feel it. " I never said the girl was Helga!"

" You never said it wasn't Helga either, short man" laughed Grandpa.

Oh, he's good.

" Grandpa!"

" What" he laughed. " Can't an old man joke around with his most favorite grandson?"

" Uh, grandpa, I'm your only grandson."

" He He He! Oh, I'm just messing with you, my boy!"

I just smiled. Sometimes I wonder if my grandpa's seriously senile.

" All right, grandpa."

Grandpa was still curious. " Now, why did you two crazy lovebirds get into a fight in the first place?"

" Grandpa!" I yelled. " We are not love birds."

" He He He!" he roared. " Oh, short man, you're too easy to mess with. Relax! I'm only busting your chops."

" Whatever you say, Grandpa."

" Well, Arnold, what's the problem?" my grandpa continued to pester.

Thinking that it was just easier to tell him, I ended up explaining the whole situation, starting from asking Helga to the dance to the fight at Slausens. Grandpa never interrupted me. He just patiently sat in his chair, occasionally biting a cookie, and listened.

When I finally finished speaking, grandpa let out a long breath.

" Well, Arnold. I say you got yourself into quite a pickle."

" I know" I sighed. " I shouldn't have said that to her. I shouldn't have, but I did. I just snapped! I was tired of her mental games. I felt like I needed to show her what she does to me."

We were both silent for a minute.

" Was I wrong?" I ended up asking.

Grandpa pondered for a minute.

" Well, maybe you were and maybe you weren't. You needed to say what you had to say and you ended up hurting the girl's feelings. Every action has consequences, boy, and today was an example. I don't think it's a matter of who's right and who's wrong. All that matters is that you both should talk to each other and the both of you should apologize to one another."

Grandpa may be old, but he's certainly wise.

" Thanks, grandpa" I smiled, standing up.

" Anytime, short man" he winked. " Anytime."

" Now get some rest," he added.

Yet, I didn't' feel like getting rest. Something was still troubling me. It was probably my guilty conscience.

I paused for a second. " Umm…grandpa."

" Yes, short man?" he chuckled.

" Do you think I could go take a walk around the block?" I asked.

Grandpa only nodded. " A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do."

With that, he picked up a newspaper lying on the kitchen table and gave me a small salute.

" And right now, boy, a man's gotta use the bathroom! Night short man!" grandpa shouted, heading for the toilet.

" Night, grandpa" I laughed, heading out the door. On my stoop, I managed to hear grandpa shout, " Never eat raspberries!"

Too funny.

Anyway, outside, I had no idea where to go. I just walked wherever my feet let me. I passed Mr. Green's meat shop, Mrs. Vitello's flower shop and even P.S. 118. It made me smile that nothing's changed.

As I walked, I realized that I was at the front entrance of the park. Feeling a sense of peace and nostalgia, I went inside and headed straight to the benches. It was then that my blood went cold.

The moon set a fine glow on her porcelain skin, making her seem like a celestial being. Her hair shined like gold and even in the darkness of the night, I could see the blue of her eyes and the redness of her lips.

She was divine.

She was mad at me.

She was Helga G. Pataki.

End of Arnold's POV

Not a word was said between the two. He knew that she sensed his presence and she knew that she could not ignore him.

" Helga—" he started

" I'm busy, Arnoldo" she barked, her blue eyes watery.

Arnold didn't even try to fight back. He didn't want to make her any angrier then she already was.

" I called your house," he said.

She only snorted. " I know that. Big Bob wouldn't shut his pie hole for a minute!"

Arnold smiled in response.

" Why didn't you call me back?" he asked.

Helga's POV

" _Why didn't I call back? Why didn't I call back? How dare you! How dare you, you football headed geek!"_

" Damn it, Arnold!" I cried. " How could you even have the nerve to ask me such a question!?"

I noticed his eyes blaze. Unbelievable! He's the reason we're in this mess in the first place.

" There you go again, Helga!" he thundered back at me. " You're always yelling and making me mad."

" Then don't talk to me if I make you made, Arnold!" I shouted.

" Damn it, Helga! Don't do this!"

I couldn't believe it. He was telling me to stop. He broke my heart. The boy I love for thirteen years asks me to a dance, almost kisses me, and then tells me that he doesn't even like me. Doesn't he realize that this is like a giant fuck you to my face.

" Do what, football head?" I wept, tears rolling down my cheeks. " Did I break your heart? Send you mixed messages? Make you cry for nine hours and have your whole night ruined? Well? Did I!?"

" Helga" he whispered.

I couldn't help it. Shivers ran down my spine. I loved the way he said my name. Oh, how I longed for him to say it again.

Too lost in my desires, I didn't even feel him wrap his arms around me, pulling me into his embrace.

" _No"_ I thought. " _I can't! I can't let him see me weak."_

But, I was powerless. I stayed limp in his embrace, tears still rolling down my cheeks.

" Don't cry," he whispered, wiping away my tears with his thumb.

" Why?" I asked, breaking away from his arms. " Why did you ask me to the dance if you don't even like me?"

He looked as if he'd been slapped in the face.

" What do you mean if " I don't even like you"?" he sputtered out.

" You heard me!" I growled. " I don't like to repeat myself, football head."

I felt a little satisfaction at the way his face paled.

" What makes you think that I don't like you?"

" Well, you said so yourself at Slausens" I huffed out angrily.

I wasn't surprised when football head's eyes lowered. Humph. As if I had forgotten.

" I didn't mean it," he mumbled.

" Speak up, Arnoldo," I barked. " I can't hear you!"

" I didn't mean it!" he roared.

My eyes widened in fear. It's the look in his eyes. I've never seen such a look. It was pure masculine power; the type of energy a man could only posses.

" I didn't mean it," he whispered, gently, seeing the fear on my face.

" Then why did you say it?" I asked, frowning.

" I don't know" I heard him mumble. " I just did."

" _Bull shit. This is total bullshit, football head. Crimeny, Arnold. You expect me to forgive you with an excuse like that? Oh, just wait till I get my hands on you!"_

" If you don't know" I started, my voice cracking at the end. " Then you have no reason to apologize to me."

" Helga—" he started.

" No!" I yelled. " I don't want to hear it, Arnold! I'm sick of your bullshit. I'm sick of your nice guy attitude! Enough! Enough, damn you!"

I sounded like a maniac. I sounded like a lunatic, but I didn't give a rat's ass. I'm a Pataki! I'm not going to let some football headed little geek intimidate me.

He stayed silent for a while. It was when he looked up that I saw that his face was completely neutral. I couldn't see any emotions.

" So, you're sick of my nice guy attitude?" my love growled.

" That's right, football head" I spat.

Suddenly, the next thing I know, I'm slammed against a tree.

" What the…what the hell are you doing, football head?" I raged.

" Shut up" he growled, his breath tickling my face.

" _Oh shit!"_ I thought. "_Shit! Shit! Shit! Triple Shit!_"

" Y-you're so dead, if you don't get off of me, Arnold!" I stuttered, blushing.

" Do you want me to get off of you, Helga?" he smirked, his thumb caressing my face.

" _Oh, God NO!_" I thought. " No duh, football head. Now get the hell off me, before I—"

I was cut off from saying anything else. My eyes instantly closed as he crushed his lips against my own.

_He_ was _kissing_ me. _Arnold_ was kissing me, Helga G. Pataki.

It's not like this is my first kiss or anything. I've kissed Arnold during our 4th grade play, Romeo and Juliet, the babe watch scene, and on top of the FTI building. You know what they say; three's a charm.

The difference is that I was the one who initiated all those kisses. Not to mention that there were no tongues involved. Well, that's not the case in his scenario.

His kiss was rough and passionate, with tongue, teeth, and lips. His lips were everything that I always expected for Arnold to have, soft, warm, and kissable lips.

I felt, warm, feverish, shocked, and uncomfortable. I don't know why. Yet, somehow, his kiss was wrong.

This wasn't Arnold kissing me. I've kissed Arnold before. His kisses are sweet, gentle, loving.

This kiss screams " I wanna bang ya, baby!"

I felt his tongue lick my bottom lip but I wouldn't open my mouth. I felt uncomfortable. As if everything were spinning in circles.

Everything was happening too fast. I mean, one minute we're yelling and the next thing you know, he's trying to shove his tongue down my throat.

I abruptly pulled away from him. Which was hard, considering he had me slammed against a tree.

Touching my lips, now swollen and blood red, I did the only logical thing any girl would do in this situation.

I slapped him.

The slap echoed throughout a park like the aftermath of someone beating a drum.

Never in my life have I slapped him. Sure, I always threatened him in my younger days, but I've never actually hit him.

" Y-You slapped me" he choked out, shock evident on his face.

" _No shit, Sherlock,"_ I thought, my face passive.

" You deserved it," I stated, my voice cracking at the end.

He was silent for a few seconds. "I'm sorry."

" No, you're not" I whispered.

" Yes, I am! I—"

" Why?" I howled, cutting him off. " Why did you kiss me?"

" Because…" he started.

" Well?" I urged, my tone testy.

" Because" he paused. " I like you."

" I like you too, football head" I growled. " That doesn't mean I just march right up to you, slam you against a tree and kiss you!"

" There you go again!" he raged.

" What the hell are you talking about, Arnoldo?" I screamed.

" What happened today? We were so close. You agreed to go to the dance with me. In case you forgot, Helga, we almost kissed!"

" No, football head" I growled. " I did not forget. And FYI, football head, I wasn't pressed against a tree!"

" You're unbelievable, Helga!" he yelled. " You enjoyed the kiss and you know it!"

" Yeah, right" I replied blushing. " Why would I want to kiss an annoying foot ball headed little geek like you?"

I instantly regretted the words that came right out of my mouth. That's why he said those words to me. He didn't say them out of spite. He said them as payback.

" That's why" he whispered.

I was silent. What could I possibly say to him? I'm sorry? Do you still want to go to the dance with me?

Instead, I asked " Why do you like me?"

" Huh?"

" _What do you mean "Huh?" The question's not that hard, you imbecile!"_

" I said" trying to be patient. " Why do you like me? Why do you like me even when I'm so mean to you?"

He just smiled.

A true genuine smile.

" I remember the first say I met you" he smiled. " You were caught in the rain. You looked so miserable, lonely and beaten. I just wanted to wrap my arms around you and give you a hug. You looked like you needed it."

I remained listening.

" Then, I don't know when it happened. One day, you changed. You grew strong and you started acting tough, cold, and distant. You picked on me, called me names, threw spitballs at me. Yet, deep down, I've always known that you're a good person."

A good person 

" You're loyal to your friends and you fight for what you believe in" he continued, "Your spirit is amazing."

" _That's nice, Arnold, but get to the point"_ I thought, scowling.

" In the eighth grade, you changed so much" he said, a dazed look on his face.

" That's not exactly specific, Arnoldo" I said sarcastically. " Kindly explain."

" You looked different—"

_Different._

_Different._

_Different._

_You looked different._

Those three words were like an echo inside my mind. I kept repeating them over and over again. I didn't; I couldn't even listen to the rest of his sentence.

" So" I whispered. " Are you saying that you only like me because of the way I look?"

" No!" he yelled flabbergasted. " That's not what I just said."

"_Liar_" I thought.

" But you said I looked different!" I screamed.

" I also said that your personality was different!" he thundered.

" You did not just say that, Arnold" I growled. " Don't bull shit a bull shiter."

If the situation weren't so serious, I'd have laughed. His facial expression was one that's considered incredulous.

" We're you even listening to anything I said?" he asked in disbelief.

" Uh…Duh!" I spat.

He looked like he came through the ravages of time. It was as if he knew that this was a battle that I was going to win. Either way, he remained silent.

" What's the matter, Arnold? You have nothing to say?" I smirked.

" No, Helga. I have plenty to say; but I think actions are better than words."

END OF HELGA'S P.O.V.

With that, he leaned over and kissed her. Unlike his first one, the kiss was gentle. Helga barely felt his lips touch her. It was soft, a bit dry, but spoke wonders. And further more, she liked it.

He pulled away as quickly as he leaned in. He caressed her face and tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. Helga could feel her face flush and her stomach do flip-flops.

" I like you because you're you, Helga" stated Arnold. " You may have some sharp thorns, but that is the most beautiful rose."

Her face was a burgundy shade. " Why-uh-…don't g-go a-a-all Shakespearean on me, football head! Just because I let you kiss me doesn't mean you can talk to me like some love sick buffoon!"

He only smiled a very goofy smile. He thought her tough exterior was cute. All the better to break it down.

" Goodnight, Helga" he whispered.

As he turned around to walk home, a hand stopped him.

" Football head…" she smirked.

" What?" he smiled.

" Pick me up at seven."

" You got it!" he chuckled, walking.

" Oh, and Arnold" she called.

" Yeah?" he asked.

" Don't be late."

A/N- Wow. I haven't updated in months. Well, I hope this chapter is good enough for everyone. Everyone is kind enough to offer ideas, suggestions, and criticisms. I'm open to all ideas.


	5. Come What May

A/N- Hey everyone! I'm sorry for not updating. College crapplications are finally finished. I tried to make the chapter as long as possible. I now present Chapter 5 of _Love is Blind_. Enjoy, everyone and thank you for your patience! 3

Helga's P.O.V.

Holy shit on a stick! As disgusting and unappealing as that sounds, I really don't give a rat's ass. What a night! Well, technically, morning. Oh, who cares? I'm as happy as a pig rolling in shit.

After all, it's not everyday that the boy you're in love with for thirteen years makes out with you after he apologizes.

Anyway, by the time I arrived home, it was extremely late. I don't really need to describe how late. For a school night, it was way passed my curfew. Thankfully, Big Bob was asleep, snoring like a hibernating bear and Miriam was passed out on the couch, courtesy of her smoothies.

The last thing I needed from them was to waste my time by actually pretending they care.

Please. If Olga came home this late, Big Bob would buy her a damn Bentley and treat her like the Queen of England. Psh. What a moron.

So, by the time I came home from the park, it was exactly 2:52 in the morning. Now, any normal girl would be asleep. Or, girls in my case who just came home from the park would put on their pajamas and hit the sack. The sissy preppy ones would worry about getting their eight hours of sleep to avoid a zit. Lord. What a bunch of maroons. All the oil from the shit they plaster on their faces is what gives them their zits.

The term coco buttered bitches was invented for a reason.

I, on the other hand, do the most logical thing after my current ordeal. I call up my dear friend, Phoebe.

Why am I calling her at almost three in the morning?

Doi! Because Phoebe is the only one beside myself up at three in the morning!

I wonder why she's not in bed, as I dial her cell phone, expecting her to pick up.

Two rings later, she does.

"Hello?" she chirps.

" Pheebs, it's me," I state.

" Helga! " I hear her exclaim in shock and surprise. " Oh my gosh! Hi! Is everything allright? How are you feeling?

" Never better, Pheebs" I smirk, sad that she couldn't see it grace my face.

" Oh, thank goodness" she sighed. " I was worried about you after you stormed out of Slausens. But, I'm just glad that you're feeling better."

" Thanks, Pheebs" I say, a very small smile on my face. " But, I'm fine and that's not why I called."

"Really?" she asks, munching on something crunchy, probably some sort of vegetable. " Then why did you call?"

Here it comes, I thought. Get ready for some shrieking. " My lips are swollen and I'm going with football head to the dance."

There was an immense period of silence. I'm actually getting worried. Almost 3 minutes have passed. As a result of my little statement, I can just imagine Phoebe choking on her late night snack.

"Hello?" I asked. Silence this long was not normal.

"Phoebe? Are you dead?"

"Ahhhhhhhhhh! Oh my god! Oh my good! Oh my god!!!" I hear her scream, my hands coming to rub my broken, bleeding ears. Shit! Why the hell she has to scream like a banshee on angel dust and crack, I don't know.

"Ow!" I yelled. "Crimeny, Phoebe! Keep it down. If Bob and Miriam wake up, I'm not exactly going to be a happy camper tomorrow."

"I'm so sorry, Helga!" she chirped. " I'm just ecstatic for you. You really worried me today and I hate it when you're upset."

"Hey" I shrug. " It's okay, Pheebs. I think I'm getting the rag any day now. I over reacted a bit, but it was worth it, Everything's cool now. So, let's get on with our boring lives."

" I'm just surprised" she beamed, grinning like a Cheshire cat. She then smiled coyly over the phone.

" So…" she pressed.

"So?" I questioned, not particularly liking her tone. It was way too mischievous.

" Did he use his tongue?"

"Phoebe!" I gasped, shocked, but very amused. It wasn't Phoebe's style to ask such personal questions.

"What?" she chirped. " As your best friend, I have every right to know! Besides, I need something to discuss with Gerald tomorrow."

"Phoebe" I yawned, too tired to growl. "I don't think hair boy wants to know about our tongue war. Are you honestly telling me that you and hair boy have nothing else to do but talk about my nighttime love life? Why don't you tell me if Geraldo knows how to use his tongue…"

"Helga!" she shrieked, gasping for air.

"What?" I mimicked. " As your best friend, I have every right to know."

" Very funny, Helga."

" Oh, come off it, Pheebs" I grinned, surpassing a yawn. " You know that I'm just messing with you. If you and Gerald were wagging tongue wars, the whole school and I would know thanks to Princess Rhonda and her big mouth."

" Stop it, Helga" she laughed. " Gerald doesn't have feelings for me. And if he does, he doesn't properly show it. I've been psychoanalyzing him since the 4th grade. He's not intellectually or technologically deficient and he's extremely popular with the opposite sex. If he truly liked me, he would have told me by now."

"Phoebe, is this why you're up on a Monday night, now a Tuesday morning, until four in the morning? To psychoanalyze our chicken shit friend? Wake up, Pheebs. He does like you, sweetheart. He's just a pussy with a capital P. Seriously, my dear. He's intimidated by you because you're not like the other bimbos who roam and infest our hallways."

" Oh, stop it, Helga" she sighed blissfully, reaching for another carrot. " Sixteen and you're already a cynic. Gerald's always been there for me. He's sweet, gentle, charming, handsome, suave—"

" Not to mention sports crazed, hairy, dumb, loud, and an extreme, total, and major pussy," I added.

"Helga!"

So? Maybe I am a cynic. There's nothing wrong with it. It's not a crime. I'm life smart and prepare myself for all the bad things that can happen to me in the future. Hey, don't get me wrong. I love a good love story just as much as the next woman, man, or he-she. The difference between the "optimists" and I is that I'm more realistic about love.

I want Phoebe and Gerald to get together, really, I do. However, honestly, and I'd never tell Phoebe this, but I don't think Gerald will ever say anything to her. He's never dealt with a girl like Phoebe and he's probably afraid to ruin their friendship. He's probably even afraid to kiss her because she's not like the other skanks he's fooled around with. He also knows that she's my bestfriend. If he hurts her, his jock ass is mine for the kill.

I always argue with Phoebe about love. For example, I know that a good girl and bad boy can never be together. First of all, even if a bad guy and good girl get together, it's only for the sex.

Good girls always fanaticize about the bad boys. Especially since they've never come into contact with the life style they live in. These girls only crave excitement and live in a fantasy that they get from fake cheesy romance novels. These novels allow them to think that they can have the power to change a bad boy.

Well, honey, it doesn't work that way in real life. A leopard never loses its spots. Bad boys love the fast drinks, fast music, fast women, and fast sex. It's how they live.

Besides, these good girls always choose their families first in real life. It's only the movies that portray a girl giving up her family for some man.

It's funny. You'd think that as girl who's loved someone for thirteen years, I'd have this romantic soul mate belief. No way, bucko.

But, anyway, back to Geraldo.

Let me explain something to you and see if you agree with me here. Hair boy has liked my best friend since the fourth grade. She's liked him since the fourth grade.

If he's so clever, popular with the gals, and charming, then why can't he figure out the signals she sends him? And why can't he grow a pair and ask her out? Do you honestly think that the man never received any action? Please, Princess Rhonda may have a big mouth, but she never lies. What do you think happens at her parties?

Anyway, as a man, a man who has experience, he should have no trouble asking out my girl.

A) She's been flirting with him since the 4th grade.

B) Arnold's told him that Phoebe has a thing for him.

C) She's never had a boyfriend or kissed a boy, even though plenty of guys have asked her out.

D) They always hang out every Friday, sometimes with out football head and I.

Even a blind man can sense what's going on. Geraldo has to skip basketball practice one day and wake up to smell the roses. I think the perfume of the cheap tarts in our school has the boy asphyxiated.

And this is what pisses me off the most. Gerald has the nerve to sulk when guys like Lorenzo ask my girl to dances. What does he honestly expect? Maybe if he'd finally grow a pair and make a move, he'd be the one going to dances with Phoebe.

Seriously. What right does he have to be upset when he's not even doing anything about Phoebe? Talk is cheap. I don't give a shit how much he says he likes her. I'm an action girl, in a G-rated way you perverts, and I want to see him take action against my best friend.

Okay, maybe I'm being a bit harsh, but like good ol' Abe once stated, I never tell a lie. Really, I'm not lying. I don't lie.

If he's seriously is afraid of kissing and hooking up, he can take it slow. It doesn't mean he has to be a sissy like Harold.

"Common and get real, beautiful. I have more balls than hair boy," I stated.

I could hear her repress a sigh. "Helga, everyday, I ponder why you call Gerald "tall hair boy." He doesn't even have half the hair he used to have on his head."

The Cheshire grin on my face was enormous. " I supposed it had to go somewhere. Sheesh. If Geraldo is that hairy on top, can you imagine how hairy his di—?"

"Helga Geraldine Pataki!" she shrieked aghast. "Are you hearing yourself!?"

"Honey, yes I do!" I roared with laughter. " Oh, I wish I could have seen the look on your face. Relax, Phoebe. Men and women do have hair down there."

"Helga, this is something I do not wish to discuss with you."

"Sweetheart, who else can you possibly, to talk about this?" I inquired, grinning my charming and million-dollar smile.

It's not that I receive satisfaction from hearing my best friend sigh. I just love it when I cause her to blow her image as the cool, calm, and collected genius I've known since pre-school. I never told her this, but the guys in our school love the fact that she's so shy around them. Pure, they call her. Pure my ass. Well, she is physcially, just not mentally.

"Shouldn't you be off to bed, Helga?" she sniffed.

"Relax, Phoebe" I smirked. " You probably want to get rid of me because he's in your sheets this very minute."

She couldn't help but laugh. "Would you stop! Enough about me. What about you, missy? Is he a great kisser?"

I felt like such a sap when a stupid dreamy smile came across my face.

"Yes, ma'am" I stated.

"Well?" she pestered. "Details! Did he use tongue, is he a biter, sucker, what!?"

"Whoa, slow down, cowl girl," I laughed. " Yes to tongue, he likes to bite my lips but hates it when I bite his, and he prefers me to do the sucking."

Oh lord, that sounded so wrong.

"Forget the last line I said, Pheebs."

"Forgetting!" she chirped.

It was silent for a few seconds. It wasn't a bad silence. More like we were trying to take everything in.

"Oh!" she finally squealed. "I'm so glad everything worked out!"

"Honestly" I admitted. "So am I. I was ecstatic when he asked me to go to the dance. I mean, seriously, Phoebe. I loved him for thirteen years, and I don't think I'll ever stop. I know it's stupid, these dumb "I like you, I don't like you" games we play. But, Phoebe, you know I don't mean half the things I say and you'd think that he'd understand this by now. I think that I was more upset that he didn't figure this out then by what he actually said. That's why I was so happy when he found me. It showed that he had some sense knocked into him and he figured it out for himself."

"Uh, yeah, Helga" she agreed, pinching herself, and grateful that Helga wasn't able to see her eye twitch. She was a horrible liar.

" I guess he must of really thought about it."

"Yeah" replied Phoebe, rubbing her red wrist. " You know, Arnold. He always looks out for the ones he cares about."

" Just like you, Pheebs" I smiled.

Who does she think she's trying to fool? Please, football head's by no means stupid, but it would take him days to crack the lock to my feelings.

"You're my best friend, Helga. You were always there for me. Do you remember the Connie and Maria incident? You were a real friend. It's time that someone's there for you. Speaking of Maria, did you hear that she's—?"

"Phoebe?" I bit my lip to keep myself from laughing. " How hard did you shove my date in the wall?"

"S-shove? N-nani?" she squeaked.

That's another way I know that my girl is fibbing. Every time she tries to lie, she speaks random bits of different languages.

" Come off it, babe" I smirked. " You can pack a punch when you want to. After all, you have me to thank for teaching you how to."

" You're not angry at me for interfering?" she asked in a timid voice, simply astonished.

"Hell no" I roared. " I'm proud of you. Now I have a reason to say that you have more balls than Gerlado!"

" Haha! Helga G. Pataki, you're nuts!" she smiled.

"Nuts for you, baby" I singed lowly. "I was made for loving you baby, you were made for loving me."

" The only way of loving me baby, is to pay a lovely fee!" she sung back.

I tried so hard to stifle my laughter but we both started cracking up. I heard Big Bob's snoring stop, but it resumed a moment later.

I was never the kind of girl who fell in love with Chick flicks. On her 13th Birthday, Phoebe tricked me by saying we were watching The Exorcism of Emily Rose. I always wanted to see it, but I was grounded at that time. As a result, by the time Bob allowed me to leave my hellhole of a house, it was out of theaters.

I almost cried when Phoebe said she lied.

" _Oh my god, Pheebs! " I cried in happiness. " I cannot believe we're watching The Exorcism of Emily Rose."_

"_Uh, well, believe it, Helga" she smiled shakily._

I was so excited that I didn't notice her eye twitching.

" _I'm honestly surprised that you're watching this. You hate horror movies."_

" _I just want you to watch a movie I know __**you'd**__ like" she smiled._

When she placed the video in and skipped the commercials the thought suddenly occurred to me. The movie didn't come out on DVD yet. Phoebe does not buy bootlegged movies. She doesn't even know what bootleg is! I was proven correct when I saw Moulin Rouge display itself on the screen.

"_Oh, no" I whined. "Phoebe, I'm not watching a chick flick and that's final."_

Phoebe can be very persuasive, especially with cookies and cream ice cream.

" _I can't believe I'm sitting here and watching a chick flick_," I muttered, nibbling on caramel popcorn.

"_Shh_!" she shushed, focusing in on the movie.

Surprisingly, I fell in love with the movie and with Satine.

I didn't cry like Phoebe when she died, but it reminded me of Shakespeare's _Romeo and Juliet_ because the movie has two star crossed lovers. I loved that a courtesan like Satine and writer like Christian could fall in love. A love like theirs is everlasting, even in death. As a cynic, I know that a love like theirs couldn't exist. But, since Satine died, it was more realistic. In a sense, I want a love like those two had, which is why I love the movie.

After I saw the movie, for a while, I saw Arnold and I as Satine and Christian, while Lila was the bloody ugly duke. I never told Phoebe this, but the day I marry, hopefully to Arnold, our wedding song will be Come What May.

But, anyway, the point is, I fell in love with my first chick movie, and till this day, the rare girls night Phoebe and I do have are dedicated to watching Moulin Rouge.

Phoebe's favorite part of the movie is the tango de Roxanne. She found the roughness of the dance "hot." Hey, she had no reason to blush. It was hot. Very hot. Sizzling hot…okay, enough of this.

" I don't have the kind of money that you're worth" I teased.

" Aw…you know?" my best friend said. " How about a date with Nicole Kidman, Ewan McGregor, cookies and cream, chocolate, and I this Friday?"

" Aren't you going to miss your man?" I teased. I'm not joking when I say she and Gerald always hang out every Friday.

"Chicks before dicks" she yawned. " Besides, he's not my man…yet."

I laughed a content laugh.

"Amen, sister" I whispered. " We see the guys everyday. I accept your date. Let's have it at my house this Friday. I'll provide the movie. You bring the ice cream! Maybe I'll invite Patty and a few others."

"Sounds like a plan, Satine" she smiled.

"Yes, Roxanne" I smirked. I looked at my alarm clock and the red letters flashed 4:30. We've been talking for an hour and a half.

"Allright, Pheebs. As much as I love talking to you, school starts in four hours. I need at least three hours to function for today."

" Same here, Helga" she agreed.

"I'll talk to you soon, Phoebe. Good morning!" I screamed, before hanging up the phone.

Phoebe Hyerdahl merely smiled as she walked across her room to turn off the lights.

And as she felt her head hitting her pillow and the warmth of her blanket engulfing her, all she could whisper was "Good morning, Helga."

A/N- I hope everyone enjoyed the chapter. I've been writing all about Arnold and Helga for a while, and I figured I'd show a Helga and Phoebe moment. Honestly, I can be a cynic and the Moulin Rouge moment really happened to me. My best friend always tried to beat it out of me, but it fails. R/R please! Thank you 3

I want to try to update more. Ideas, criticism, and suggestions are always welcomed.

Btw, the song Phoebe and Helga were singing was Elephant Love Melody from Moulin Rouge. I encourage anyone to watch the movie!

Nani means what in Japanese.

I'd also like to thank: iceprincessforever, Monkey BayBee, Jeni27, Darthroden aka Carl, RenaissanceGirl14, Athena005, Nikki Narcissist, Chrissy O' Niel, and K.S.P.I.C.E.R., for reading and reviewing my last chapter. Thanks so much, you guys.


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